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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) If you're neurodivergent, have a chronic illness, or

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consider yourself disabled, and you are sick and

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tired of people telling you to just think

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positive, change your mindset, because if you focus

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on all the bad stuff that's all you're

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going to attract, then this podcast is for

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you.

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You're listening to Feathermane Soul Wisdom, a podcast

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for those looking to rediscover their wild spirit

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in spite of life's challenges.

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If you're living with a chronic illness, or

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neurodivergent, or consider yourself disabled, and you're looking

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to connect with your own inner untamed essence,

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then this show is for you.

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Your host is Kit Kaelstoe, Wild Spirit Storyteller.

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Thanks for listening, and now onto the episode.

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Hello, I'm your host, Kit Kaelstoe, and welcome

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to the second season of the Feathermane Soul

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Wisdom Show.

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I've decided to roll us over to the

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second season now that I've given my website

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a nice polish and updated some of the

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back-end technology that should make your experience

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there much better and make it easier for

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me to manage everything, and I've also updated

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the intros and outros just slightly.

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So, I was driving in my car.

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I listened to podcasts on my way to

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town.

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It's about a 30 minute commute to town

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when I go to get groceries and such,

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and I was listening to a podcast, and

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it's a podcast that I kind of have

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a mostly love relationship with, but sometimes they

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say things that I'm like, whoa, no, honey,

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that is not how the universe works, and

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this is one of those times.

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I was driving home, and their podcast started,

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and right off the top, they were like,

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we got off the struggle bus, and first

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of all, I hate the phrase struggle bus,

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because it implies several things.

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When you say struggle bus, first of all,

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a bus is like a small cramped space.

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You're going somewhere.

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You don't have autonomy over like where you

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stop.

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If there's like five bus stops between you

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and your destination, you're going to stop at

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all five of those, because somebody may be

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waiting to get on the bus.

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Somebody may need to get off the bus

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at those stops, but there's a good chance

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you're going to take momentary pauses or momentary

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stops at places that don't necessarily serve you,

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and that's fine.

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I mean, you know, that's what public transit

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is for.

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That's what makes it efficient, so you know,

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that's how public transit works, but also the

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struggle bus to me is a very ableist

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saying.

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It brings to mind the buses that are

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used for students who need extra supports, for

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students who need specific mobility accommodations to get

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on and off the bus.

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It brings to mind the shorter buses that

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haul fewer students, and that shorter, that short

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bus is often used as an ableist slur

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or insult, and so to me struggle bus

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kind of fits into that as well.

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So I mean, right off the top, they

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kind of pinged my sense of justice, my

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sense of, hey, you know, we don't use

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those words around here, but also right after

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that, the host said something that just, that

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made me want to scream, frankly.

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I mean, it was just me and the

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groceries in the car.

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I could have screamed if I wanted to,

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but they were like, well, we stopped focusing

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on the negative, and so we're doing so

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much better now that we're attracting more positive

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things.

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Oh boy, here we go again.

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So I immediately came home, went to my

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to-do app, and wrote down that very

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next podcast I wanted to do was talking

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about the fallacy of when you think negative,

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you attract negative things.

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Now to put on my psychology hat, there,

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there are studies that have been done, and

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I admit most of the studies I have

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been presented with, I have concerns about the

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methodology and things, and to get, you know,

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really wonky and in the weeds.

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But the studies that have been done do

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show that, you know, it's the old pink

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elephant problem.

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If you tell somebody not to think about

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a pink elephant, all they're going to do

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is think about a pink elephant.

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But I also think that the focusing on

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the negative, especially for those of us who

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are neurodivergent and chronically ill, I think that

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there's a lot here to discuss and examine

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about how neurotypical brains work and about how

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neurodivergent brains work.

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And I ran into this yesterday.

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I was having an awesome day.

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I was doing a bunch of stuff, and

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the two sides of my neurodivergence, the, um,

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my autism and my ADHD started fighting one

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another.

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The ADHD was just humming right along.

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I was checking things off my to-do

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list.

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I was getting stuff done, feeling productive.

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I had all the dopamine.

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I mean all the dopamine.

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I was doing great.

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I was hyper focusing, and then my autism

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stuck its hand up and said, whoa, you've

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overwhelmed me.

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I need to go chill.

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Luckily, that was towards the end of the

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day and when I have to go do

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an evening, um, chore outside.

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And so, like, I spent the next hour

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before I went to do those chores, basically

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watching show tunes on YouTube.

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I mean, I was like totally tuned out.

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And I, you know, eased into what I

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was doing in the evenings, and I kind

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of worked myself out of it.

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But I think that goes to show you

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that the neurodivergent brain, and depending on your

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flavor of neurodivergent brain, or your combination of

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flavors in your neurodivergent brain, that you're, it

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works differently.

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And so, as somebody with autism and with

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sensory sensitivities, one of the things that I've

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really discovered by tuning into my body is

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that on my high pain days, that that's

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just so overwhelming to my system.

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And so, so strong of a sensation that

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that's all I can focus on.

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It's, it's like somebody is, you know, walking

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around behind me with a big megaphone and

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shouting in my ear.

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You know, if that were happening to you,

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that would literally be the only thing you

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could think about.

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You'd be like, excuse me, could you like

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not do that?

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And with the body, it's much the same

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way.

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When my body is in really bad pain,

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which it, it has been quite a bit

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due to some weather situations, and the fact

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that my medical team doesn't really care that

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I'm in this much pain.

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Then, you know, I do what I can

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to alleviate it.

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I, you know, just for those who are

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new to the show, I'm a yoga instructor.

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So I do yoga, I do meditation, I

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do breathing, I do mindfulness, I'm really gentle

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with myself.

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And I love the practice of self acceptance.

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So I do all the things that they

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say you're supposed to do.

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But when my body feels like somebody is

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literally pounding on me with two by fours,

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then that's all I can think about.

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And of course, that's all I'm going to

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think about.

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Now, am I attracting more pain by that?

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You could argue that since I'm focusing and

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noticing on that, that maybe in my brain,

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there's something going on there.

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But the truth of the matter is, my

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body hurts, whether I think about it or

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not.

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My body hurts at a variable rate.

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And so when it hurts less, then I

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can, you know, I don't think about it

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as much, although I still do think, you

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know, Oh, God, you know, that knee is

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bothering me or all my shoulders are so

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bad.

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And that's just one small example.

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When you are dealing with socio economic things,

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when you are dealing with financial issues, then,

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you know, you have to think about them

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to some extent.

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Because you have to figure out, you know,

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what's my budget?

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Do I have any more any opportunities to

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try and do a side hustle?

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Do you know, am I using social media

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effectively to promote my business?

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There, there's a million things that you need

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to think about in relation to your finances.

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And thinking about those things is not going

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to attract more poverty into your life.

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In fact, I would argue that thinking about

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those things is going to make you take

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more action.

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Now, if you are referring to the, you

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know, Oh, woe is me, I don't have

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any money.

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Acknowledging a fact does not attract more facts.

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I mean, you know, Oh, woe is me,

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I'm in pain.

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You are allowed to feel upset about the

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state of your existence.

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You are allowed to state the truth of

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that and how that feels to you.

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And so I think that's the first point

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I'd like to make is that when somebody

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says, you know, Oh, only think positive.

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They are wanting you to deny the truth

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of your existence for their comfort.

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And I don't know about you, but as

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somebody who received my diagnoses very late in

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life, and has, you know, now reached a

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point in life where I'm expected to be,

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you know, basically angry all the time.

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I don't make myself smaller, deny my existence

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for other people's comfort.

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And I don't think you should either.

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That's part of connecting with our wild spirit.

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That's part of, you know, connecting with your

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wild untamed nature.

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You're not going to tame down any part

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of your experience for somebody else's comfort.

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I also think that we need to think

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about, and this has come up actually in

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several things that I have run across over

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the past couple of weeks, that everybody kind

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of throws out all these, you know, handy

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meme worthy things, you know, think positive, get

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off the struggle bus, do this, do that,

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without thinking about where all of that came

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from.

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And the truth is that all of that

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positive thinking will change your life.

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A lot of that came from a guy

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called Napoleon Hill.

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I believe that was his name back in

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the 20s.

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So the other thing is it came out

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after his death that pretty much everything he

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said in his book was a lie.

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He claimed that he, you know, got rich,

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made all these connections, had this wonderful life,

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because he thought positive and changed the way

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his mind was going.

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And it, no, he was just a grifter

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selling some snake oil.

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Not only did everybody in the 20s buy

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it, because of course everybody wanted to be

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a part of the gilded age, but people

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in the decades since have bought it to

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the point where it's been packaged and repackaged.

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The secret, the law of attraction, so many

268
00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:07,880
things.

269
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:15,920
And so I feel like that the people

270
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:20,540
who tell you that don't quite know the

271
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:23,140
history of it, aren't quite willing to look

272
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:25,600
at the history of it, and aren't quite

273
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,240
willing to look at the fact that what

274
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,760
they're selling you are the same, it's the

275
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,320
same snake oil, just packaged in a more

276
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,180
modern packaging.

277
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,720
It's like if you look at Coke cans,

278
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,760
Coca-Cola, if you look at the cans

279
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,620
of Coke, you know, through the decades, the

280
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:44,260
Coke cans that we have now don't look

281
00:13:44,260 --> 00:13:45,620
like the Coke cans we had in the

282
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:47,620
80s, but you still recognize it as Coca

283
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:47,960
-Cola.

284
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,220
That sort of thing.

285
00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:55,600
And so I think when we do that,

286
00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,300
we uncover a couple of things.

287
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:04,000
And we uncover some fundamental differences between the

288
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:08,700
neurodivergent brain and the neurotypical brain.

289
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:17,520
And those differences are really about who gets

290
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,860
to connect with their wild spirit, who gets

291
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:24,180
to connect with their untamed spirit, and who

292
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:27,100
doesn't for the sake of a neurotypical society.

293
00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:31,420
I'm going to take a deep breath here,

294
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,940
because I will be honest, maybe it's the

295
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:38,420
perimenopause, but like I am reaching the point

296
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,120
where this is getting me really angry.

297
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:50,080
Because for me, I could no more tell

298
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:56,120
the storm to calm down for my comfort.

299
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:59,920
I get, you know, thunderstorm rolls in at

300
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,540
like three o'clock in the morning, you

301
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:05,780
know, big crashes of lightning, big, you know,

302
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:09,020
big booming reverberating thunder that shakes the house.

303
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,780
You wake up, you're like, oh, you know,

304
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:11,760
oh my god, we're gonna die.

305
00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:13,900
Maybe that's just me.

306
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,640
You know, I could no more than like

307
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,200
go out on the front porch and be

308
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,700
like, excuse me, thunderstorm, could you calm it

309
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:21,980
down?

310
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:22,840
I'm trying to sleep.

311
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,280
The storm is going to be like, haha,

312
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,540
here's some more thunder and lightning for you,

313
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,740
crazy person.

314
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:36,670
And so I want to be the thunderstorm.

315
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,840
Not in that I want to, you know,

316
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:42,760
make noise and wake people up, but in

317
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,360
that I want to be firm.

318
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,100
And this is who I am.

319
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,640
This is my nature.

320
00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:49,960
This is, you know, this is it.

321
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,520
And so we could, you know, we could

322
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,400
take this down several notches.

323
00:15:57,930 --> 00:16:00,190
Squirrels love to raid bird feeders.

324
00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:04,450
You can try to do everything you can

325
00:16:04,450 --> 00:16:06,550
to squirrel proof your bird feeder.

326
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,530
But there's a chance that your squirrel is

327
00:16:10,530 --> 00:16:12,210
still going to steal the food out of

328
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:12,930
your bird feeder.

329
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:15,430
The squirrel will find a way.

330
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:18,860
Is it cute?

331
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,120
It could be.

332
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:20,940
Is it annoying?

333
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,660
If you're the one buying the bird seed,

334
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:23,260
probably.

335
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:26,860
But the squirrel is going to squirrel.

336
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:30,670
And we have to accept that.

337
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:33,150
We have to acknowledge that that's the situation.

338
00:16:34,110 --> 00:16:35,870
And we can do two things.

339
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,180
We can either scream at the squirrel not

340
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,880
to squirrel, to which the squirrel is going

341
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:48,300
to pretty much ignore the big screaming monkey

342
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,300
on the front porch.

343
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,780
And I say monkey because we're primates.

344
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,660
And so, you know, theoretically, that's kind of

345
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:58,660
how a lot of nature looks at us.

346
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:05,940
You're going to tire yourself out, stress yourself

347
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:15,000
out, and not change the squirrel's behavior.

348
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:26,270
And with that, you could ignore the squirrel.

349
00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:28,690
But the fact is, you'd still be spending

350
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:30,070
extra money on bird seed.

351
00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:36,090
You would still be, you know, trying to

352
00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:37,430
fix the parts of the bird feeder the

353
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:37,930
squirrel broke.

354
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:41,270
The situation would be there even if you

355
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,590
tell yourself, well, the squirrel's not, you know,

356
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:46,370
the squirrel's not raiding my bird feeder.

357
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:47,950
Well, it is.

358
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:50,090
You're just ignoring it and deluding yourself.

359
00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:56,150
And so, I think that's where when people

360
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:59,290
say, well, don't focus on the bad things

361
00:18:00,270 --> 00:18:07,010
without giving you any other context, then they're

362
00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:08,650
telling you to delude yourself.

363
00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:10,930
They're telling you to ignore the squirrel raiding

364
00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:11,670
your bird feeder.

365
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,970
They're telling you to, you know, no, it's

366
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,670
not thundering and lightning.

367
00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:19,970
And there's no severe thunderstorm warning.

368
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:22,690
Just for the record, today it's sunny.

369
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:24,530
But we're in the Midwest.

370
00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:25,110
It's spring.

371
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,370
We're supposed to get storms in a couple

372
00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:26,750
of days.

373
00:18:26,810 --> 00:18:27,370
It happens.

374
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:31,730
You know, you could tell yourself that.

375
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:35,550
But if you don't take cover during a

376
00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:39,030
severe weather warning, you do risk very serious

377
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,230
injury or worse.

378
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,350
You do risk getting hurt.

379
00:18:43,610 --> 00:18:48,990
And so, if you acknowledge the situation, I

380
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,950
am in a lot of pain today, or

381
00:18:50,950 --> 00:18:54,630
that light is too loud, or my God,

382
00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:56,430
I can hear the electricity in this room.

383
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,290
I have got to do something about it.

384
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:04,650
Acknowledging the situation is not going to attract

385
00:19:04,650 --> 00:19:05,830
more of that situation.

386
00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:09,770
My husband and I hate overhead lights.

387
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:11,890
We're both autistic.

388
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:12,730
Can you tell?

389
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:16,830
But if I, if he, he's usually the

390
00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:18,330
one that turns on the overhead light to

391
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:20,210
do some, to clean or something.

392
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:24,630
If he turns on the overhead light and,

393
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:26,290
you know, I'm on the bed like going,

394
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,010
bright light, bright light, as I'm working on

395
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:31,630
my laptop, like I'm some sort of little

396
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:37,770
moggly from the movie or something, then, you

397
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,390
know, that's not going to make all the

398
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:41,310
other lights in the house turn on and

399
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:44,610
like march and, you know, increase the illumination

400
00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:45,650
in the room I'm in.

401
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,170
That's simply an acknowledgement that, hey, you turned

402
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:49,750
on the light.

403
00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,330
I hope you had a good reason.

404
00:19:52,390 --> 00:19:54,430
And obviously, we communicate better than that.

405
00:19:56,730 --> 00:20:03,430
Once you have that acknowledgement, you can then

406
00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:05,810
figure out what to do to fix it.

407
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:10,150
That might be on a high, high pain

408
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:12,630
day, giving yourself grace, saying, you know what,

409
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,350
my body hurts today.

410
00:20:14,830 --> 00:20:16,590
I can't do what I wanted to do.

411
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:17,850
I'm going to curl up with a blanket,

412
00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,650
a book, the favorite show I'm streaming, whatever

413
00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:21,710
makes you feel better.

414
00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:27,110
If it is the case of like bad

415
00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:29,510
sensory inputs in a room, it's going to

416
00:20:29,510 --> 00:20:31,950
be, you know, hey, can you turn the

417
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:32,430
light off?

418
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:34,370
That's really hurting my eyes right now.

419
00:20:34,570 --> 00:20:36,950
Or, you know, is this going to be

420
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:37,410
quick?

421
00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:40,530
Usually in our case, it's like, you know,

422
00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,530
if it's not obvious, I'm like, why did

423
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,130
you do that?

424
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:45,110
He tells me and I'm like, okay, make

425
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:45,590
it quick.

426
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,900
Acknowledging it and even, you know, even if

427
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:57,440
you're groaning and, you know, growling about it

428
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,160
the entire time, you can still do that.

429
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:04,060
You can still understand the situation is what

430
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:07,120
it is, and you can still do what

431
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,200
you need to do to make any changes.

432
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,460
There's a big difference between working through the

433
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:19,060
situation as it is, working to find a

434
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:22,040
better place, and just completely deluding yourself that

435
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,700
the situation doesn't exist at all.

436
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:31,020
And the other thing is, notice that even

437
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:34,000
with like the sensory issue, there's a two

438
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:34,980
-way communication.

439
00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:40,400
And this is the other part that really

440
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,220
got me when I was listening to this

441
00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:42,680
podcast.

442
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:49,500
So it is a spiritual metaphysical podcast.

443
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:53,220
They talk a lot about new age style

444
00:21:53,220 --> 00:21:53,900
topics.

445
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,880
They do teach classes.

446
00:21:58,460 --> 00:22:01,320
I suppose people could turn to this podcast

447
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,720
for a guru, and you've got to be

448
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,600
mindful of that.

449
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,140
I mean, if you're putting yourself in a

450
00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:10,340
position where you're teaching people, you need to

451
00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:13,300
be mindful that if you're teaching people, people

452
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:14,420
will do what you say.

453
00:22:17,030 --> 00:22:19,430
Hopefully, maybe, or at least they'll consider it.

454
00:22:19,490 --> 00:22:21,810
You know, I mean, I don't want to

455
00:22:21,810 --> 00:22:23,990
be all authoritarian because that's not the case.

456
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,270
I really encourage people who listen to this

457
00:22:26,270 --> 00:22:29,050
podcast and who take my classes and that

458
00:22:29,050 --> 00:22:29,570
to try.

459
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:30,970
You know, have a curious mind.

460
00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:31,970
That's all I ask.

461
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:38,090
And the tone of this basically was, if

462
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:41,990
you don't stop thinking about whatever is a

463
00:22:41,990 --> 00:22:45,090
pain point in your life, if you don't

464
00:22:45,090 --> 00:22:47,430
stop focusing on that, nothing is going to

465
00:22:47,430 --> 00:22:48,010
change.

466
00:22:48,210 --> 00:22:49,970
You're only going to attract more, and it's

467
00:22:49,970 --> 00:22:51,570
going to be your fault.

468
00:22:52,610 --> 00:22:56,430
It's the last part that really got me.

469
00:22:56,610 --> 00:22:58,750
It's going to be your fault.

470
00:22:59,330 --> 00:23:01,730
Hello, victim blaming has entered the chat.

471
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:08,640
And so with that victim blaming, that's a

472
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,920
whole new layer of not good.

473
00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:20,780
Because there are so many things that go

474
00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:23,420
into even what appears to be a cut

475
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:24,500
and dried situation.

476
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:28,740
So for those of us who are neurodivergent

477
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:33,800
and have a chronic illness, the easy knee

478
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,660
jerk thing to do, you have diabetes, you're

479
00:23:37,660 --> 00:23:38,900
clearly not eating right.

480
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:41,740
You know, whether it's a medical provider or

481
00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:44,520
somebody, you know, you know, nothing.

482
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:46,020
It's all on you.

483
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,920
Oh, you have chronic pain and you're not

484
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:49,480
losing weight.

485
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:50,400
Well, that's your fault.

486
00:23:52,340 --> 00:23:56,100
That is their way, again, of making themselves

487
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,920
feel better and absolving themselves of all responsibility.

488
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:06,480
But more importantly, they're basically absolving the socio

489
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,260
economic cultural systems of all their responsibility too.

490
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,400
I just got done writing an essay talking

491
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,680
about how being chronically ill really connects us

492
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,620
with this planet, which many would argue is

493
00:24:21,620 --> 00:24:24,540
chronically ill right now dealing with climate change,

494
00:24:25,220 --> 00:24:29,700
and just the weird things going on with

495
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:30,240
the weather.

496
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,860
And that, and you know, one of the

497
00:24:34,860 --> 00:24:38,660
points I made was that, okay, a single

498
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:41,120
tree in the forest has to take in

499
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:46,200
nutrients, water, air, all of that good stuff

500
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:46,800
to survive.

501
00:24:47,260 --> 00:24:50,020
And so in to some respect, it is

502
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,740
on that tree to do that.

503
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,680
However, that tree is affected by all the

504
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,040
other trees in the forest.

505
00:24:57,900 --> 00:25:00,720
And whether that's, you know, a little forest,

506
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,360
like the one I have in my backyard,

507
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:05,260
that's kind of a little buffer zone between

508
00:25:05,260 --> 00:25:07,820
us and the properties around us.

509
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,680
Or whether it's, you know, thousands and thousands

510
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,980
of acres, like the Mark Twain National Forest,

511
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:18,720
or any national forest that, you know, is

512
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,640
in the US.

513
00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:22,600
I happen to live in the Ozarks.

514
00:25:23,020 --> 00:25:24,660
There is quite a bit of the Mark

515
00:25:24,660 --> 00:25:26,960
Twain National Forest not too far from where

516
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:27,500
I live.

517
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,400
Acres and acres and acres and acres of

518
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:30,820
trees.

519
00:25:32,540 --> 00:25:36,860
But even something as big as a section

520
00:25:36,860 --> 00:25:39,300
of the National Forest, and in the case

521
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:42,500
of the Mark Twain National Forest, it's actually

522
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:47,540
several large forests in a very vast geographic

523
00:25:47,540 --> 00:25:48,140
area.

524
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,200
It's not just like one national park.

525
00:25:50,380 --> 00:25:52,760
There's a whole bunch of little pieces of

526
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,160
it scattered throughout the Ozarks.

527
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,080
But those little pieces are, you know, many

528
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,020
thousands of acres.

529
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:04,100
And, you know, the health of that is

530
00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:09,760
based, in some respects, to the land around

531
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,100
it and what the people do.

532
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,960
I'm thinking about, like, the Emerald Ash Borer,

533
00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:18,260
I think its name was.

534
00:26:18,980 --> 00:26:21,260
When it first showed up in Iowa, all

535
00:26:21,260 --> 00:26:22,900
of a sudden it was like, okay, you

536
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:24,660
can't bring in your own firewood.

537
00:26:24,780 --> 00:26:27,500
You need to buy it only from authorized

538
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:28,080
dealers.

539
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,400
Because people bringing in firewood from other states

540
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,500
moved this pest across state lines and brought

541
00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:38,740
it into Iowa, where it really proliferated.

542
00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:42,580
When we think about the invasive species here,

543
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:46,580
the invasive species that we have came over

544
00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:52,360
from long distances and in ways that, like,

545
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,800
people didn't even notice.

546
00:26:54,220 --> 00:27:00,800
If you're dealing with an invasive species, you're

547
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:05,580
dealing with something that somebody basically either thought

548
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:08,260
was good that they introduced into an ecosystem,

549
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:13,160
or that they didn't even know was there.

550
00:27:13,740 --> 00:27:15,360
And then all of a sudden you got

551
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:16,200
this big problem.

552
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:20,360
You can't blame, for example, the Ash Tree

553
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:25,920
for its Emerald Borer infestation without actually looking

554
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,100
at all the other factors.

555
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,140
And, you know, okay, the, you know, the

556
00:27:29,140 --> 00:27:32,040
people moving firewood, how did this pest originally

557
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,860
get into the U.S.? There's so many

558
00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:34,380
factors.

559
00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:39,200
And I don't see this as a neurodivergent

560
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:39,700
tangent.

561
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,940
I see this because it connects with our

562
00:27:41,940 --> 00:27:42,480
thoughts.

563
00:27:43,260 --> 00:27:46,380
If I'm having a bad pain day, okay,

564
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,900
yes, in this moment, I have pain signals

565
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:51,960
going to my brain.

566
00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:53,420
I have signals going to my brain that

567
00:27:53,420 --> 00:27:56,980
my brain's interpreting as pain, and they're localized

568
00:27:56,980 --> 00:27:58,820
in various parts of my body.

569
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,380
I could catalog them.

570
00:28:01,660 --> 00:28:04,020
You guys probably aren't interested in that.

571
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:05,760
I wouldn't be if I was listening to

572
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:06,580
this podcast.

573
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,500
You know, and there are different sensations, and

574
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,180
they're caused by different things.

575
00:28:13,060 --> 00:28:20,280
But all of that is connected to other

576
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,700
things that happen, that are connected to things

577
00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:24,800
that go back, you know, 50 years.

578
00:28:26,540 --> 00:28:28,360
Because that's how old I am.

579
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:33,720
And that all those experiences have built to

580
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:34,480
this moment.

581
00:28:35,740 --> 00:28:38,500
And so for me to just say, you

582
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,180
know, oh, well, I'm not in pain today,

583
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,980
doesn't do anything to address the 50 years

584
00:28:43,980 --> 00:28:45,860
of damage that have been that has been

585
00:28:45,860 --> 00:28:48,320
done to my body and nervous system, by

586
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:54,360
various factors, including people who did not want

587
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,000
to see that I was neurodivergent, or who

588
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,260
did not want to believe my lived experiences

589
00:28:59,820 --> 00:29:02,060
around some trauma that I experienced.

590
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:08,900
And so, you know, I always believe that

591
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:14,000
when you blame the person that that's the,

592
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,640
you know, that's, that's the coward's way out.

593
00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:17,640
That's the cop out.

594
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:21,980
Even now, like with our political situation, you

595
00:29:21,980 --> 00:29:25,500
can tell somebody, hey, your vote caused this

596
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:26,320
to happen.

597
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,740
But then you have to look at why

598
00:29:28,740 --> 00:29:31,140
the people voted that way, what caused it.

599
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,360
And that goes back decades.

600
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,200
And it's so much wider than just going,

601
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:37,020
you know, haha, you voted for this, now

602
00:29:37,020 --> 00:29:37,700
you're getting hurt.

603
00:29:38,740 --> 00:29:40,520
That's probably another show.

604
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,440
Maybe not.

605
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,680
But everything is connected.

606
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,960
And that to me, that's, that's what my

607
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,280
autistic brain has taught me.

608
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,440
Everything is connected.

609
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,680
Patterns upon patterns upon patterns upon patterns.

610
00:29:56,060 --> 00:29:57,920
And when you start to put those patterns

611
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:58,960
together, which is